The hardest thing about existing as an artist is the networking. I've never been what you would call a skilled conversationalist. My ealiest memories of being forced to talk to strangers are painful and gross. I heard the word 'backward' alot. Thinking about socializing can make my brain go into overdrive and I am exhausted before I even get to the event. If I don't get an immediate headache. And I am not writing about this to elicit sympathy, but rather to offer a deeper understand of my reliance on imagery to communicate.
About 10 years ago I made a concentrated effort at putting my artwork out into the world. Self awareness is a bitch when it comes to owning your awkwardness and limitations. I had no idea how to 'be professional' as in I know WHAT to do I just cannot make my meat suit comply. I began introducing myself by aknowledging my socially anxious and nervous twitching and corner lurking. That it is indeed very obvious and hard to corral, but that I am present and trying. It took me until age 35 to be able to comfortably carry my uncomfortableness.
Images are where it’s at for me. Speaking and writing about emotions really upsets people. I have been reprimanded for my dramatics, accused of being an attention whore and told I am dangerous. Leading people astray with my talk of self-awareness and integration of life experience, traumatic and glorious, being a way to become a fully realized person. It is easier for me to create an image. Something that gives you space to feel a feeling, a focus for the feeling.
What I know is people can see these spaces I create. They respond with joy or curiosity or overstimulation or repugnance or confusion. Some of the feedback I get is the viewer can FEEL the piece. That is something, I think.